What Men wants ladies to know about them

It is likely no surprise to you that God has wired women and men differently. We all recognize some of these differences, but others often hide in plain sight. Shaunti Feldhahn, a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, author and speaker recently wrote a fantastic book, For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men. In it, she recounts the surprising truths she learned about men after interviewing more than one thousand of them. I think you’ll find these Seven things fascinating! Even more, I believe that in understanding these issues, you’ll be equipped to lead your relationship or  marriage to a better place!

1) Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected. Men need to know that their espouse respect them both privately and publicly. Men thrive when they know that their espouse trust them, admire them and believe in them. Shaunti Feldhahn’s research indicated that men would rather sense the loss of loving feelings from their wives than to be disrespected by them.

2) A man’s anger is often a response to feeling disrespected by his espouse. When a man becomes angry with his spouse, he may not come out and say, “You’re disrespecting me!” But, there is a good likelihood that he is feeling stung by something his spouse has done which he considers disrespectful and humiliating.

3) Men are insecure. Men are afraid that they aren’t cutting it in life — not just at work, but at home, in their role as a Man. They may never vocalize this, but inwardly, they are secretly vulnerable. The antidote? Affirmation. To men, affirmation from their espouse is everything! If they don’t receive this affirmation from their spouse, they’ll seek it elsewhere. When they receive regular and genuine affirmation from their espouse (not flattery, by the way), they become much more secure and confident in all areas of their lives.

4) Men feel the burden of being the provider for their relationship or family. Intellectually, it doesn’t matter how much or little a man makes, or whether or not his espouse makes more or less money in her career. Men simply bear the emotional burden of providing for their family or loved ones. It’s not a burden they’ve chosen to bear. Men are simply wired with this burden. As such, it is never far from their minds and can result in the feeling of being trapped. While spouses cannot release their Men from this burden, they can relieve it through a healthy dose of appreciation, encouragement and support.

5) Men struggle with visual temptation. This means the vast majority of men respond to visual images when it comes to women. And, this doesn’t just mean the guys with wandering eyes. Even the most godly Men cannot avoid noticing a woman who dresses in a way that draws attention to her body. Even if it is just a glance, these visual images are stored away in the male brain as a sort of “visual rolodex” that will reappear without any warning. Men can choose whether to dwell on these images and memories or dismiss them, but they can’t control when these images appear.

6) Men enjoy romance, but doubt their skills to be romantic. True, many men appear to be unromantic clods, but it doesn’t mean that they want to be that way! Men want to be romantic, but they just doubt their ability to pull it off. They are plagued by internal hesitations, perceiving the risk of humiliation and failure as too high. Women can do a great deal to increase their espouse confidence in their romantic skills through encouragement and redefining what romance looks like. For example, a lady may get upset when her man asks her to go along to the Cybercafe, but it’s likely that he’s asking because he sees it as a time they can get away as a couple and hang out together. What’s not romantic about that?

7) Men care about their spouse appearance. This isn’t saying that all men want their espouse to look like the latest supermodel. What men really want is to know that their espouse are making an effort to take care of themselves (and not letting themselves go) because it matters to them (the men!). Men appreciate the efforts their espouse make to maintain their attractiveness.

In conclusion, Men want their spouse to know how much they love them. Men aren’t confident in their ability to express this, but they love their spouse dearly except otherwise when in a relationship with boys. Men want to show how much they love their spouse and long for them to understand this fact.

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